10 Gifts for the Grieving Parent (or Person) In Your Life
As I mentioned before, the holidays are HARD. An added layer of stress during the holiday season is living up to the expectations of others and putting on a brave face for living children and family. Often it’s a “sink or swim” feeling, and I know for me personally, it is VERY hard to ask for help. It’s a busy time for EVERYONE so speaking up and saying, “I need…” often feels more vulnerable than just going without. On the flip side, when I am in the thick of a grief “contraction” thinking of anything that may help can also feel impossible. So when people ask, “What can I do?” I’m at a complete loss and don’t know what to say. With all of this in mind, I decided to compile a small list of gift ideas for the grieving parent (or grieving person in general!) in your life that may need some extra love this time of year!
1. A meal
Meal trains are great when loss is fresh and shock is yet to wear off, but what no one tells you is that the exhaustion from grief goes on and on. Sometimes just getting to the end of the day is a battle and making dinner feels like an added burden. With the high intensity of grief during the holiday season on top of a busy schedule , a meal on a random Wednesday could be the ultimate way to make a grieving loved one feel seen and understood.
2. An ornament or small decoration memorializing their loved one
In our home we collect new ornaments for the kids and ourselves each year. Having ornaments to represent ALL family members would be a gift that kept on giving. Each year those ornaments and decorations will provide a way to include children and loved ones that cannot physically be there.
3. Their child or loved one’s name included on your Christmas card
There are a few people in my life that ALWAYS include Grace’s name on their notes to our family. I so rarely get to see all of our names together that it never fails to put a smile on my face and fill me with love.
4. A massage
Or a pedicure, or a facial, or a nap… Grief is PHYSICAL. The amount of energy that it takes to live each day without your child (or anyone you love) is physically taxing. Not to mention the amount of stress, tension, and anxiety you can carry in your body! Being treated to a massage or any type of relaxation is beyond appreciated.
5. A letter letting them know how their loved one has impacted your life this year
Send a quick note, it will be something they can come back to over and over again. I know with the loss of a baby, it often feels like the parents carry the burden of keeping their memory alive. Knowing that Grace has touched the lives of others helps to ease my fear that it’s all up to me to keep her present in this world.
6. Something sweet
Sometimes the only thing that can bring you joy in a hard moment is a treat!
7. Help with decorating
Putting up decorations can be daunting and exhausting, offer to help or just show up!
8. A donation in their honor
I Know that many people do their charitable giving towards the end of the year. Maybe choose an organization inspired by their loved one OR make a donation in their child’s name to your organization of choice.
9. A sincere hug
Whether out and about shopping, at a holiday party, or simply in their home - giving a good hug can let a grieving person know that the difficulty of this season is recognized and they are not alone.
10. Say their name
Just simply mentioning the name of a child or loved one who is gone is appreciated. Whether you have a memory about them to share or just an “I’ve been thinking of _____.” those moments are precious, they help those who are grieving to feel less alone - they have been thinking of them too!
Some of these ideas may seem simple, but the take away here is to let the grieving people in your life know that their loss is recognized and understood. Whether it’s been years or no time at all, this kind of support is necessary and needed to make it through!